need someone to fix my term paper and add more 2 more pages to it

I need you to correct my essay and add 2 more pages to it.

Requirements:

  • at least 5 pages of specific, evidence- and source-based text (APA: Times New Roman, 12, double space), excluding references, cover pages, images, and abstracts (if you decide to include them);
  • references to reliable secondary sources (you may use primary sources as long as you analyze them through secondary sources);
  • at least three footnotes with digressions, additional information, and side comments on any part of your text.

    He corrected my paper, here are his comments:

    Comments:

    1. reality tv is a separate genre, it’s not a “typical” documentary
    2. information selection: you need to narrow down the topic to something way more specific, you write about reality tv, topically focusing on “family” and what else? you will not manage to analyze this huge body of tv content otherwise on 5 pages
    3. the first page of your text points to many directions: morality (however it is understood), guilty pleasure (however understood), the content censorship on “national tv” (vague category), children’s exposure to tv, milennials’ exposure to tv, the translation of tv content onto social life YOU NEED TO CHOOSE ONE
    4. IF KOTTAK (2016) AND BARTON (2007) DO MAKE SUCH STRONG STATEMENTS, YOUR ROLE IS TO CRITICALLY ANALYZE AND ASSESS THEM – HOW DID THE AUTHORS GET TO THE POINT THEY MAKE? WHAT MAKES THEM RELIABLE?
    5. IF YOU CHOOSE TO VOICE YOUR BIAS “Sadly” on page 3 (second page of text), WRITE MORE: WHAT DOES IT HAVE TO DO WITH YOUR STUDY? WHY SHOULD THE READER CARE THAT THIS MAKES YOU “SAD”?
    6. THERE ARE PLENTY OF STATEMENTS/CLAIMS YOU DON’T SUPPORT WITH SOURCES (AND THESE SOURCES ARE NOT INTEGRATED INTO YOUR TEXT PROPERLY: IT’S NOT ENOUGH TO JUST INCLUDE IN-TEXT CITATIONS (PAGE NUMBERS?) FROM TIME TO TIME), EXAMPLE: “Due to the addicting phenomenon of watching the documentaries, the young generation tends to follow each and every detail due to curiosity.”

    or

    THE CONCLUDING PARAGRAPH SUPPORT THEM? MOVE AWAY FROM DIAGNOSING “A PROBLEM” TOWARDS ANALYZING IT: DON’T ASSUME THAT YOUR READER WILL BUY EVERY GENERAL CLAIM YOU MAKE – IN ORDER TO CONVINCE YOUR READER, YOU NEED TO PRESENT THE CASE (LIKE IN COURT)

    ALSO, EVERY DIGRESSION (LIKE, IN YOUR CASE, THE BRIEF REFERENCE TO “MORALITY”) CANNOT BE LEFT UNEXPLORED – YOU CAN USE FOOTNOTES TO TELL ME WHERE I CAN LOOK FOR MORE INFORMATION ON THIS “MORALITY” OF YOURS AND ALSO WHAT MAKES IT SO CRUCIAL